Working with Kym: A Day In The Life Of A Photographer

How difficult can it be to be a child/family photographer? Very, as my day with Kym revealed. We went for shoots at 3 locations – the client’s home, the MICA Building, and Duxton Road.

If you’re looking for photography tips & tricks, you’re better off surfing other sites. This post is about the realities of the commercial child/family photography business.

The photo you see above was taken by me, using my non-pro digital camera. Kim was very nice and said I have “potential”. That probably means “the lighting’s all wrong but at least you got everyone into the picture.” Haha!

The couple photographed are working parents – dad’s a designer, mum’s an investment banker- with their little girl, Charlotte, who will turn 2 in 2 days’ time.

After an hour-long shoot at their Toa Payoh home, we head over to the MICA Building.

See how perilous it is? Kym risks a limb in order to get a good shot! The family’s very zealous and hardworking maid looks on. She often chips in with calling out the child’s name, singing songs, waving objects to get Charlotte’s attention, so that the girl will look straight at the camera.

At some point, Mummy gets a little self-conscious. “Ahhhh.. my face looks so fat”, she exclaims as she is shown the photos that were just taken. “How ar? My face looks so fat!” Kym handles this outburst with panache, assures the good lady, and the two mothers start comparing post-baby tummies. Kym wins the battle of “who has the biggest bulge” with just one statement: “You’ve had one baby. I’ve had two!”

Next, we are off to Duxton.

Kym checks out the place:

It gets especially scary when Baby gets cranky.

Here the parents have to coax the kid. Largely unsuccessful because Baby is sick of being photographed by now. While Kym turns to the maid to ask for more biscuits to bribe the kid with. Bribes ALWAYS work. Always.

Baby Charlotte was placed on her pedestal. She seemed very stunned when she realised how far away the ground was. She froze for quite a while but resumed munching on her biscuit soon enough. Mommy there is deathly afraid that Baby will fall, even though Charlotte seemed to know she should not move at all. First-time moms are so nice. Those who aren’t, usually let their tots trail behind them in shopping malls. Tsk tsk.

I love this picture lots. It says so much about this business. You have to get down and dirty. They went belly-down on the shophouse pavement! AND were later shoo-ed away by the occupants running an architectural business there. I was secretly amused that parents would fork out quite a bit to be made to pose, lie on the floor, sit on a window ledge, etc etc.

After about 4+ hours, it’s a wrap, and Baby is sent off home. Meanwhile, Kym goes to her hubby’s office to help out with his business.

Dear Kym, I really have to take my hat off to you. You had a shoot before meeting me. And then you brought me to the 3 locations with Charlotte’s family. After which, you still had to help your hubby. You are simply amazing! When I become a mother, I want to be just like you!

Watch out for: The interview with Kym, out on April 8th.

Interview with Dennis Wee (II)

Dear Readers,

Here’s Question 5 for y’all:

Q5: Many training companies claim to teach laymen how to invest in properties with “little or no money”. What’s your take on this, and what advice do you have for local property investors in 2011 and beyond? 

Not to condemn them, but I believe these people learn from the Americans or some seminars. In other countries, that can be done. It is what Robert Kiyosaki teaches. He is one of my mentors but I argued with him that ours is a different scenario.

The rulings in Singapore are different. When you use other people’s names to buy properties, it is a risk you must be willing to take.

In Vietnam, for example, you can buy a property under someone else’s name. They are likely to take your money and run away with it. In Singapore, this cannot happen. The Singapore government is so strict that I doubt this can happen here. I don’t think it is feasible.

However, these trainers are my friends too. So all I can say is – BE CAREFUL!

If you ask me about landbanking, I’ll tell you to be careful too.

I cannot stop these people from organizing courses, which are not cheap as well! So do your own homework and exercise caution. Ask yourself whether it is feasible.

There is a difference between investing and speculating. Investors do not care whether the market goes up or down, whether there are curbs or not. They have the fiscal power to hold and maintain.
Speculators, on the other hand, have no such holding power.
Look at Singapore. The government is a businessman, making the country so good for being the place you work, live and play in.

As for the next generation of government, I don’t know what’s going to happen. But in the meantime, the property market will just keep going up!

Our population is growing and more than one-third of that comprises the foreigners and PRs.

[Advice to investors?]

Buy low and sell high then downgrade to an HDB unit.

Choose a couple of properties with good rental yield and the money will come in sooner or later.

Choose your district wisely.
I bought a Changi Green condo at its 1995/6 peak and until today, it has not reached the price I paid for it.

LOCATION is tremendously important.
Go for districts 9, 10 and 11. Properties here appreciate faster.

Interview with Dennis Wee

Dennis Wee

Founder, Dennis Wee Group

Q1: Why did you choose to enter the real estate industry and what do you love most about the work you do?

I didn’t choose the industry. I was retrenched in 1986. I applied to be a taxi driver but I didn’t speak Mandarin so I was denied a licence. My friend suggested that I consider the real estate industry but I gave him a blank stare. I went for an interview to be an offshore surveyor and thought I could give it a shot.

I called my ex-boss and he said “learn again, don’t quit”. However, I wanted to resign because I felt a sales job was not for me. It is a plus that real estate is a ‘product’ that is always there, in good and bad times.

I was searching for my destiny. And always learning. Which is why President Nathan gave me the Lifelong Learning award.

You just have to keep doing more and more. Don’t be like the ducks…

About dreams

There are 3 groups of people.

1)    Dreamers

2)    Do-ers

3)    Ducks

It is dangerous to be a dreamer, who only dreams, dreams and dreams again but there is no action.

However, a dreamer can become a do-er.

Dreamers can also become ducks. Those who can only ‘quack’, gather together and ‘quack’ some more, without taking any action. They don’t want to work hard but they want to be rich.

The do-ers are those who do, and do, and do. They work and work and work. Therefore, they are rewarded. Do-ers need not be dreamers. They realize that if they work harder, they can buy a lot more things. And they can start dreaming of owning this and that. So they save the money to buy and buy and buy. To encapsulate their motto: do it, then dream.

When you do, you learn. At some point, you may get bored. This is where PASSION comes in. You innovate, you change, you strive to find the right formula, you have FUN, and you do things DIFFERENTLY.

Q2: You were once an agent and one of the top producers in the industry. How did you achieve success as an agent and how do you handle rejection from clients?

To handle rejection, you need the right beliefs and mindsets. In sales, you must not take rejection personally. Out of 25 potential clients, 1 will say ‘yes’ and the rest will say ‘no’. If you take rejection personally, you cannot be a salesman.

Rejection is part and parcel of my job. Not everyone wants to buy/sell. So I just have to smile, be friendly and tell them “thank you”.

To be successful, you have to maintain being at the top. There is no point being a top producer for a year or two. You have to work hard, do things differently and make people trust and like you. You must build a name for yourself and have rapport with people. Most importantly, people must KNOW you!

It’s great if you are humorous and creative, and dare to do what other people don’t. Let me give you a personal example:

I have been a Rotary Club member for 3 years. We engage in social work and charity events to raise funds for the needy.

There was once when we had to raise funds for Northbrooks School. 45 Rotarians put up a show, sang songs and told stories. The audience comprised mainly secondary school students who got so bored and didn’t understand us.

I told the Committee Chairman: “Why don’t we make some changes?” He asked, “Change what?”

I said “Why don’t I do a Lady Gaga performance instead?”

The Chairman said “You do it yourself. We don’t do all this nonsense.”

I dressed up for my role and sang the song ‘Bad Romance’. The students even danced with me! Till this day, the students and teachers know me as the ‘Gaga Man’!

Q3: What are some of Life’s lessons that you learnt from working, that your peers probably did not as they continued pursuing their education in school?

Schools teach you how to make a living and get a job. They do not teach entrepreneurship nor how to have the courage to do anything to make profits, and how to be streetsmart. That takes experience to know.

I’ve held many jobs, from office boy to selling flowers, to being a waiter. Each job lasted about 3 to 4 months. Should that have gone on forever? We see rich people driving big cars, living in big houses… and there is only one conclusion: must make money!

You must have courage! Stupid things can be good things!

I once had a surveyor job and it paid a $7K salary, which meant I could afford to buy many things. I wanted back my $7000. So I did sales, which can potentially earn me a lot of money.

Working in the flower shop, I found all prices fixed. All I had to do was stand there and hand the flowers over to anyone who paid for them. There was no knocking on doors.

There are 3 kinds of salespeople:

1)    Those who just take orders and have a fixed pay

2)    Those earning salary plus commissions

3)    Those who earn only commissions, without a salary

Q4: You received the Lifelong Learning Award in 2002. What are you currently learning/pursuing, and what skills or knowledge do you aim to acquire?

I am learning everyday from people, strangers, the public. Why do they not come to work early? Why are they lazy?

Whenever there are seminars, just go and attend them. This is about ‘everyday learning’. Most courses are about the same things, ie. your physical or mental state. Why do people attend these courses and yet they fail? It’s because of their peer groups.

You love the people in your peer group so you tell yourself that you don’t need to do this nor that which is necessary!

[What to do then?]

If you become a do-er and you are working hard, your peer group will leave you. They will tell you things like ‘All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy’. If you don’t go out with them, they’ll leave you.

So find a new peer group!

Q5: Many training companies claim to teach laymen how to invest in properties with “little or no money”. What’s your take on this, and what advice do you have for local property investors in 2011 and beyond?

 [To find out Dr Wee's answer to this question, simply subscribe to this blog in the link on your right. You will receive an email with his reply.]

 

Grace says: Speaking with Dr Wee is truly an experience. Few people I know can convey that amount of energy over the phone. On a scale of 1 to 10, his energy level hovers close to a perfect 10. One thought that crossed my mind was that if you and I can have a phone conversation with someone like him every morning, our days will be infused with lots of energy! Imagine how much more we can accomplish!

Look out for: The interview with ‘The Sample Store’ founder, Elfaine Tan, on 1st April, 2011!~

Irene Ang (II)

Irene Ang – March 4^th Interview by May Seah in the Today newspaper

Insights into the way she thinks:

“I’m a survivor. I just find solutions to problems… I hate to give up. I don’t like quitting.”

[About women in the entertainment industry] “I think you have to be a strong woman. A woman who dares to put her name and the ideas that she believes in on the chopping board. The risk-taking, the gung-ho-ness has to come in. You cannot be a successful woman just being nice and sweet and charming, with big boobs. It takes a lot of guts, it takes a lot of courage, and it takes a little bit of a gambling streak.”

 

Interview in 8Days, March 17th 2011 issue, by Ki’ern Tan:

“I want to be the change that I want to see in my society. I don’t like people in my industry who whine and complain and not make a difference. If you’re not happy with something, change it. But I think people hold back out of fear.”

“I also like to do things that are a first-of — leave trails and not follow paths. Life is very boring if you keep doing what other people have done before.”

Interview with Irene Ang

Irene Ang

Founder, Fly Entertainment Pte Ltd

1) Why did you choose to become an actress and an entrepreneur and what do you love most about what you do?

I didn’t choose nor plan to be an actress.  I became one by accidentally being at the right place, at the right time.  I have always wanted to run my own business.  After working for some people and realizing I can only achieve and do what I want if it’s my business.

2) What is your mission in life?

I have many missions!  I’m Singaporean!  To sum them all into one thread; to be the change I want to see in this world.

To invent, innovate, inspire and improve with all I can and all the help I can get!

3) How do you create a work-life balance for yourself?

I have really good friends who do that for me.  Different friends for different things!  They scold me, remind me and nag at me that sometimes, I work too hard and I need to rest.  They book spas for me, organize cook-ins, buy me books, drag me out of bed on Sundays to go to church and we go for lunch together after that.  I am indeed truly blessed!

4) 2010 must have been an exhilarating year for you.  What’s lined up for the rest of 2011?

Oh, is it 2011 already?  LOL!  Yes, 2010 zoomed past in the blink of an eye. 2010 was the “pregnancy” (incubating) year.  We started “Running into The Sun” and A.I Pictures.  In 2011, we see the “baby” come out and start growing, with us feeding and nurturing them to further the success of FLY as a whole.  We look forward to the three major concerts this year – RITS just finished the successful run of the Super Junior Show 3 and there are another two coming up.  A.I Pictures just finished producing their first movie “Perfect Rivals” and will hit the Singapore screens on 17^th March and Malaysia in April.  Apart from this, we’re working with IE Singapore on research into China and Malaysia.  Some of the collaboration and co-production that I’m working on with our local talents are things which I cannot share at this point.

5) What is a typical day like in the life of Irene Ang?

There’s never a typical day.  I can only say the constant is each day brings forth excitement and challenges.  There’s a sort of routine though.  Wake up, go to the toilet to wash up, make coffee and two eggs, start BBM-ing my personal assistant for updates, replying smses and e-mails!  A typical day of FLY office is six to seven meetings.  Or, as an artiste, getting make-up done, reading my lines, reading interview questions, contracts or programs for events that I’m hosting.

Grace says: Having gotten a peek into Irene’s busy life via question 5, I am SO glad & honored that she agreed to this interview! Her new ‘baby’ of a movie, ‘Perfect Rivals’, is out in cinemas now!

I went to watch the movie 2 days’ ago and 2 things were memorable. 1) A certain scene in the movie that made everyone in the cinema theatre give a collective gasp! And I had one dominant thought, that “Irene, your sacrifice for your craft is too great!” And 2) I found Mindee Ong to be a pretty good actress. I felt that she stole the limelight in a number of scenes.

Look out for: More amazing updates and insights about Irene, gleaned from reviews and interviews! Out tomorrow!

Come back again for: The interview with Dennis Wee, founder of Dennis Wee Group, on 25th March, 2011!

*Do remember to sign up for Email Subscription (in the link on your right) so the blog updates go directly to your email address. You’ll be notified of updates before everyone else!

Free Subscription

Dear Readers,

You can now subscribe to this blog. The link is on your right.

Alternatively, send an email to gracewwg@gmail.com, with ‘Sign me up’ in the subject title. I’ll be putting together a newsletter and you’ll be the first to get it.

Come back this Friday for the interview with Irene Ang!

Have a fabulous week ahead! 

Grace

Revisiting Catherine Lim

Last month, I got a copy of the Popular Club magazine and spotted an interview of Catherine Lim inside. Her new novel, after a hiatus of more than 5 years, has been unveiled. It is titled ‘Miss Seetoh in the World’. You can only imagine my hurry to get to the bookstore to grab a copy of the book.

If you don’t already know, I interviewed Catherine Lim for this blog some time back. The link’s here:
http://workingwithgrace.wordpress.com/2010/12/17/interview-with-catherine-lim/

Thus, I was intrigued by the interview in the Popclub mag by Cadence Loh. I wanted to find out if there was anything I’d missed, when I was interviewing Catherine.

Here are excerpts from Cadence’s interview:

“My advice for (young people) would be, make money, work hard for your career and family. At some point when you earn enough, go into early retirement. That’s the only way. We don’t need to be wealthy but we should aim for financial independence and never stretch out our hands for money. Live simply and with good health.”

“To me, writing is a blessing and a pleasure”

“the worst is to write and worry what people might say”

This last phrase is what I’m glad about on Catherine’s behalf. There were some reviews in the national papers, 2 weekends ago, which were less than kind in their critiquing of Catherine’s newest novel.

Admittedly, it is rather lengthy. But that can only be expected of an author who has so much to share after a break of 5 years. However, I loved the many interesting characters in the novel, from the jealous and spiteful Bernard, to the colorful character called Maggie, to the ever-present Prime Minister of Singapore called TPK. What I loved most, was perhaps, the teasing and tantalising presenting and withholding of information. Miss Seetoh is a ficticious character but she seems to possess the voice of Catherine Lim, doing and saying things that I’d imagine Catherine does and says too.

Which only makes me curious whether Miss Seetoh’s life mirrors Catherine’s. Unlike in an autobiography, you can’t be certain. I suppose this lack of certainty made me want to read on. And makes me speculate about which are the things that Catherine IS revealing about her own life, and which truly belong only to the fictitious Miss Seetoh.

The criticism about Catherine’s latest novel reminds me of an episode on TED, when Elizabeth Gilbert (the author I absolutely adore for having written ‘Eat Pray Love’) shares her views on ‘Genius’ and ‘Nurturing Creativity’.

Find the video here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=86x-u-tz0MA

Elizabeth shares about people who give her the feeling that she’s doomed – “Aren’t you afraid you’re never going to be able to top that?”, ‘that’ being her runaway bestseller. Before she got famous, people cautioned “Aren’t you afraid you’re never going to have any success?” and warned about the “humiliation of rejection” and “broken dreams”.

Elizabeth asks the audience: “Should we be afraid of the work we’re put on Earth to do?”

Her answer is: “keep showing up”, no matter what!

In another interview with Q TV, Elizabeth says, “do it ‘cos the work itself is its own reward”. And this is what I believe Catherine knows as well, and I think we’d do well to learn from these 2 amazing authors!

Fire Your Boss!

Last month, on the 16th, I attended a talk at SMU about one’s ideal career. If you were there with me, you would also have been asked this question: “If today is the last day of your life, what would you do?”

You would have heard many responses, along the lines of “I’d like to tell my family members how much I love and appreciate them”, “I’d like to start my own business”, “I’d like to travel”, “I’d like to laze at home and do nothing”, etc. My answer to that question was simple.

“I’d like to fire my boss and start my own business!” *grins*

Less than 2 weeks later, I did. I handed him the letter, and in my own way, fired him! Of course, I’d have LOVED to do it ‘The Apprentice’ way and tell him, in no uncertain terms, “YOU’RE FIRED!!!” Because he had not done anything truly terrible, and I was not on reality TV, that did not happen.

Sometimes, it’s just better when imagined, if you know what I mean.

Now, as for that new business you must be itching to know about, well, I’m still ‘serving my notice’ of 1 month at the office so details have to come a little later. In the meantime, do enjoy the many exciting, entertaining and enlightening interviews coming up!

And please do drop me an email should you have any suggestions (anything!) or comments about this blog. Send them to gracewwg@gmail.com. Cliched as it sounds, I really do look forward to hearing from you!

Cheers
Grace

Come back tomorrow to check out one exciting update about someone I’ve interviewed previously. See you tomorrow!

Interview with Vince Tan

Vince Tan

Internet Marketing Evangelist, International Speaker

1) Why did you choose to become an Internet Marketer and what do you love most about what you do?

Because I was into a web design business and therefore it seems like a logical progression to go from that to Internet marketing. What I love most about what I do is that I am able to do it from anywhere and all I really need is just a laptop and Internet connection!

2) What is your mission in Life?

 
To empower people around me to live the life they want and be happy always though that’s not exactly 100% possible but at least we try.

3) Who are the people who inspire you?

 
There isn’t exactly one specific person who inspires me. There’re a lot of little things that I see or hear or read or people I meet that collectively shape the way I think. For example, I have been speaking a lot lately and everyone thinks that I was trained by some mentor but I have never actually been formally trained before. Many have asked if I have modelled after anyone in terms of thinking so positively, and the answer is I have actually never read any popular motivation books before which explains my answer of being moulded by the little things that appear along the way.

4) How would you advise people who want to make the transition from a “safe and comfortable job” into a venture which may or may not work out in their favor?

Well, the thing is, the notion of a safe and comfortable job isn’t exactly true. It’s a misconception. People think it’s safe and comfortable but it isn’t. It’s not safe because your destiny is in the hands of your boss, 2 words and there goes your job. And as for comfort, if it is truly comfortable we won’t be hearing people complaining about their job and bosses way too often. So when you think about it, what’s the worst case scenario should you choose to quit your job and startup your own? If it doesn’t work out, 6 to 12 months down the road , just get another job and chances are it will not pay you any lower than when you have left it. But if things work out, you are free from a job!

5) How would you define ‘Success’?

To be successful is when you live the life you want, being happy and empowering people around you to achieve the same.

Grace says: If I do give out awards to interviewees, Vince will DEFINITELY win the ‘Fastest Response’ award. I sent him a request for an interview, his response came in a minute, I sent him the questions, and he sent his answers within 40 minutes. Seriously amazing!

Reponse time aside, I love his answer to Qn 4. Too often, people use a myriad of excuses to explain why they can’t leave their jobs and start the business they have been dreaming about. Unless, of course, you have many mouths at home to feed, you likely have the ability to strike out on your own. So, today, do consider if you’re one of those “stuck” in a comfortable job, and decide once and for all whether you’ll (a) stick to that job and quit complaining, or (b) quit that job and stick to doing something you love and have been dreaming about!

Look out for: The interview with Irene Ang, actress and FLY entertainment boss, out next Friday, 18th March 2011!

Interview with Francyn Tan

Francyn Tan

SFE Coordinator, Voice Talent

1) What’s a typical day like in the life of Francyn Tan?

I’m an SFE Coordinator in a secondary school – SFE stands for School Family Education – and I organise Parenting Talks and Workshops for the school.  I work on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays from 9am – 12noon, and on days when we have talks/workshops (usually Saturdays) I go into school 45 minutes earlier to put up directional signs, meet the speaker and  get their refreshments ready.

After I’m done in school,  I have to feed the hungry hoard, so I run back, pick up the husband (who works from home) and maybe the younger son, and go for lunch at a nearby hawker centre or coffeeshop.  Then it’s back home, do work on the laptop, go on Facebook  *grin*  and maybe take a much needed nap because I don’t get to sleep till 2am – my creative juices kick in only at night when it’s quieter and nobody demands my time.

Then I cook dinner because the maid sucks at cooking.  It’s usually chicken, chicken and more chicken because I’m only ever good at chicken – I make pretty good chicken rice, Boon Tong Kee Style, and my kids love the turbo-broiled roast chicken (I almost typed in roast children!   AARRGH!) or fake teriyaki chicken.  I’m not so great at pork though.  On days Wesley is not home for dinner, we have fish, because he’s allergic to fish.

Once dinner is done, then I can get at the work I’m supposed to complete.

Tuesdays and Thursdays are free days, but I’m not “free” – there’s grocery-shopping to be done (I have hungry boys, maid and mother-in-law), medical appointments for old folks (Mother-in-law, Mother, and occasionally husband) and cooking to be done almost everyday, since the family hates the maid’s cooking.  *grin*

Nights are the only times I get to do my own thing – there’s line dancing class on Monday nights, the occasional voice overs (I’m a voice talent too) which can only be done at night as there is less noise, and of course, Facebooking … I keep in contact with my friends from secondary school, my days as a flight stewardess with SQ, overseas friends I’ve made through Facebook ….

2) It seems your personal motto to “live your life with arms wide open”. What inspired that?

That line is from the song “Unwritten” by Natasha Bedingfield. I first heard it while my husband and I were in America for 2 months, and it hit me hard because I was thinking of my children who had been left in Singapore because of studies … I love the line because it’s reminding me that life is what the individual makes it out to be – my life is this way because I made choices that caused me to be in this position in life.  Right or wrong, they’re MY choices and to blame others or the circumstances I’m in is just giving excuses for not doing the right thing, or the things I want to do.

So if I wanted to do something, like say, ride the Segway – as Nike says, “Just DO it”.  It has come to Singapore and it doesn’t cost thousands of dollars to ride it … for $130 the whole family can get to enjoy riding the Segway for half an hour …  and I’ve had the joy of knowing that I’m a natural at it, and keeping the memories of family bonding to treasure.

So I live my life with arms wide open, taking whatever life has to throw at me, good or bad … and make the best of it.  There are SO many things I want to do and there’s so little time to do it!    The old cliche “if life throws your lemons … MAKE LEMONADE” holds true for me.   I might whimper for a while, but I’ll eventually get up, roll up my sleeves and say, “Now, just HOW am I going to solve this?”   *wide grin*   If I can’t do it, I’ll LOOK for someone who CAN.  Then I learn from them till I can do it myself.

Oh, and I positively LOATHE nay-sayers … and worse, “You can’t do this because you’re a girl”.   I hate gender profiling.  *grin*   I’ll NEVER tell a child “You can’t do this”  unless its dangerous (like jumping off the building in a single bound – they ain’t Superman and I’ll reason with them).  I’ll always say, “Let’s give it a shot.  Now, tell me first HOW you’re going to do it.”  (I was a childcare teacher for a while – an extension after teaching my own 2 boys – because I love children.  They’re a lot LESS complicated than adults!)

3) Why the passion for linedancing and painting?

I’ve always loved dancing and drawing … I just had to put it on the back burner when I had my family, but I managed to find creative outlets by first teaching my 2 boys – I was quite the mad mother who would dance with my babies in shopping centres when Christmas Songs were playing, or run through the sprinklers, screaming with my boys while the other mothers looked on disapprovingly.  I like to think that we had a fun childhood together.

I know my kindergarten kids all enjoyed lessons with Miss Francyn – we wouldn’t do sit down lessons – I’d take the lessons OUTDOORS and we’d have fun.  Running downhill like Jack and Jill (it’s all grass and if they fell – oops, let’s get up again and DO IT again!)  or hunting in the jungle for lions, tigers and bears, oh MY  (it was only a small grove of trees in the hill, but the kids had fun with their imagination and I was encouraging them to describe what they saw in their minds).

I’d bang away on the old piano in school and teach the kids to sing and dance to nursery rhymes … but they weren’t the ordinary ones – they were the ones I sang to my kids when they were babies – American Nursery rhymes like “Take me out to the Ball Game”  or sing in French “Frere Jacques”  *grin*

When my boys were in P3 and P4, I taught the classes simple line dances – instead of making them do worksheets during Contact Time (I wasn’t a teacher, just a parent volunteer who minded the kids while the teachers had weekly meetings)  – I got permission from the Principal, by the way.  The children LOVED it.

So by doing all these, I kept my love for the arts alive, until my children were in Secondary School and I could do my own “THANG”.

Anyway, I need the exercise, both for the body and the brain – it isn’t easy remembering the steps to the songs but it’s SO GOOD when you actually CAN dance and not look too much of a fat unwieldy hippo in a cowboy hat and boots.  And NO, I DON’T wear those at all.  I refuse to stand out from the crowd with artificial means and would prefer to let my joy of dancing set me apart from the rest.

Painting was somewhat of an accident – one of my best friends asked if I wanted to do oil painting and I practically jumped at the chance … I didn’t THINK anyone else would be interested.  I’m not painting in the style of my Lao Shi (Instructor) because he does his painting the Impressionist’s Style – which to me, is for people who are BLIND and can only see vague outlines, but if you stand 15 feet away, the painting practically jumps out at you.  I found out much later at the BodyWorld’s exhibit that yeah, them Old Masters REALLY had poor eyesight and that’s why they paint they way they do – think Monet and the blurred images – cross your eyes and you’d get the same result!

Anyway, I paint what I see … and if I don’t see wrinkles, they’re not painted in.  I like people, so I guess it’s natural that I prefer to paint people.  I was told that painting people is one of the hardest things to do … but I loathe painting scenery and find THAT hard to do.  Oh, Lao Shi HATES the way I paint.   I just think his Style and Mine just don’t gel.

My husband always asks me why I still go for lessons when I’m constantly driven crazy by LaoShi’s comments … I tell him it’s because going to the CC is a DISCIPLINE and a HAVEN … I don’t have time to paint at home, and besides, there’ll be CONSTANT interruptions and I don’t want to snap at my family.   I don’t really like to talk when I’m painting.  I can only listen to my music and paint at the same time – talking is beyond me when I paint … it’s like I’m using a different part of my brain and I can’t find the words to describe anything or form coherent sentences.

Hmmm … I haven’t answered why the passion – just the satisfaction of knowing I CAN.  I CAN dance … I CAN paint and passably well.  I CAN ice-skate, I CAN sing, I CAN connect with little kids … I CAN, CAN, CAN.  That’s all.  Perhaps one day I might find something else that I want to do and make it into a CAN.

4) What are some of Life’s lessons you’d share with your children as they are growing up?

Oh boy.   PLENTY.  But the top of the list has to be:

1) YOU can DO ANYTHING if you tell yourself you CAN.

2) If you have a dream, don’t just SIT on it.  THINK how you CAN make it a reality.

3) Don’t you let ANYBODY tell you it’s IMPOSSIBLE.  Making it possible is only a dream away.   Don’t give up.

4) You can’t change the whole world, but you can change the corner you live in. If you can make someone’s life BETTER by just lifting a FINGER to help, DO IT.

5) Smiling isn’t going to kill you.   Making Friends is a LOT tougher than Making Enemies.

6) Life isn’t fair, so stop whining.   You are ALLOWED to whimper for a while (everyone’s entitled to feel sorry for himself for 5 minutes) but after crying, wipe your tears, get up and GET ON WITH LIFE.  Nobody ever said life is easy.

7) Behave yourself when your parents aren’t around.  You are representing the teachings your mother gave you when you were young – and if you behave inappropriately, you’re telling ME your mother forgot to teach you how to behave WELL.   So BEHAVE.  (Same tone as Austin Powers – absolutely mad character but he cracks me up).   This works for Primary School kids.  It doesn’t always work for teens.  IF their parents had a hand in raising their children, THEN the kids behave.  If not, well … you just get a lot of rolling eyes as they roll away from you.

Which is PRECISELY what I want – for those annoying ones to GO AWAY.

And if they don’t go away, I tell them to GO AWAY.

I’m known to tell teens and adults off for eating on the train – stand far, far away from me if you get embarrassed   *impish grin*

5) What do you think contributes to a successful marriage and successful parenting?

I’m not sure if I can be the authority on those.

My husband and I share the same values about what constitutes good behaviour … and he leaves the raising of the boys to me … so they’re HIS boys when they’re good, and mine to discipline when they’re bad.  *grin*  Having said that, he’s a good father and tries to reason things out with them.  With me, after a number of WHYS, I end up being exasperated and tell them, BECAUSE I SAID SO.

We also have similar views when it comes to marriage and finances – I deal with the “people” part of life, while he deals with the finances.  I don’t like dealing with money and like to tell people I’m Math Dyslexic (there IS this condition called Dyscalculia) so they won’t ask me difficult questions.  I think I’d die without a calculator, or just be smart and marry one.  *impish grin*

When it comes to romance, I’m definitely the more romantic one.  He’ll go, “AH?  Do this FOR WHAT?” but he’ll give in to me if I really want it bad enough.  So I have to be zhi dong (the closest English translation would be … what, understanding, don’t ask for the cow and moon, be reasonable?) and not demand when he’s really busy.

We didn’t have much of a Valentine’s this year.  Or every year, for that matter  *grin*  But I appreciate that our bills are paid on time, we have a decent roof over our heads, and I can buy whatever I want whenever I feel like it, within reason, of course.  But William is LUCKY that I actually prefer grocery shopping to jewellery shopping (that just about BORES the hell out of me.  Finding a cheap bargain thrills me more).

I think a good marriage needs a lot of give and take in equal proportions, not just one partner always giving and the other always taking.  And giving the other partner room to breathe and do their own “thang”.  Well, maybe not with the opposite sex  *grin*   That’s one of the reasons why I take up line dancing and not ballroom dancing … you’d need a partner for ballroom and William has 2 left feet, and if I were to dance with another man, that wouldn’t BE appropriate.  Similarly, I’d get worried if he spent too much time in the company of other women … ok, in that case, let’s put it as having a healthy jealousy keeps partners not ever taking each other for granted.

And oh, having a sense of HUMOUR is so important too … you need to be able to laugh together, tease each other gently etc etc.  I think what attracted me to William was that he thought I was funny … and I thought he was funny too.  You know that song, Teenage Dream by Katie Perry (yes, yes, I know, I’m listening to songs of my kids’ generation, but they find it cool that Mum knows and can sing and dance to the songs – they let me listen to new songs and download them into my iPod for me)  Well, I think some parts of the song reflect what I feel about William.

At the end of the day, you’ve got to be COMFORTABLE with your partner, because all those sparks, fireworks, those can get TIRING after a while … and if you can enjoy just being in the company of your partner without having to talk, that’s a partner for life.  Sometimes, you just want peace and quiet and someone to hold on to.

Successful parenting is when your kids don’t end up in jail, don’t sponge off you till you’re dead and don’t make you a grandparent in your 40s.  

Grace says: This is one of the most FUN interviews, since the one with Catherine Lim. This interview marks the start of a series with my friends (people you may not know, may not have seen on TV, but may end up liking anyway!) I’m glad I asked Francyn for this interview as now I know she once worked as an SQ girl (wow!) and her views on successful parenting! (I concur with her views, by the way) :D Her parting shot for this interview was “Extract what you will, dear, and if it’s not politically correct, tough.  *grin*” What I admire about Francyn is exactly this self-assuredness. I remember being very impressed watching her put on her earphones and start dancing to the tunes in her iPod during breaktime at a course we attended. She is one confident lady who doesn’t display any self-consciousness around people, and yes, her love for dancing DOES set her apart from the rest.

When I become a mother, if I ever do, I’d like to be a mother like her!

Look out for: More interviews with my friends, each awesome in his or her own way.. and of course, the people you may know AND may have seen on TV or in cinemas!

Check back again soon in a day or two for more exciting updates!