News of a proposal never did elicit such a wide range of responses as mine did. It was the first time some of my friends heard about the girl proposing, others thought me brave and some got inspired to do the same! One went so far as to congratulate me and my “Fiancée” – I usually have a good sense of humor but not this time, pal.
So this blogpost is for those who have been asking me “HOW DID YOU DO IT?!” and I’ll tell you why YOU should propose to your man too! [Guys, you can simply let your girlfriends read this blogpost]
Let’s begin from WHY I decided to pull such a crazy (I maintain it’s pure FUN!) stunt.
Reason #1: HDB proposals SUCK (pardon me, no other word is as apt)
If you’re a Singaporean girl like me, you’ll be familiar with the local practice for proposing here. Instead of surprising you on bended knee with red roses and a dazzling diamond ring, your guy ‘pops the question’ by asking if you’d like to apply for a HDB (government-subsidized, public) flat. The whole idea is SO utterly unromantic that the guy (I’m thinking the person HAS to be male) who first came up with such a notion should be shot dead (if no lady has killed him yet)!
So that’s what my boyfriend did. (The HDB proposal, not the shooting)
BUT I believe a proposal, however unromantic, should still come as a surprise! Hence, I thought what-the-heck, if he isn’t going to surprise me, I’ll surprise him!
We’ve actually been given a pretty decent queue number for flat selection on the 20th of this month. So, logically speaking, there are only so many days between now and the 20th that he can propose. (Doesn’t take a genius to figure out when he’s going to propose) And this brings me to reason number 2.
Reason #2: He actually told me WHEN he’s going to propose with a ring.
Yes, you’re shaking your head now and going “tsk tsk”. I know.
I picked out the ring myself. (>_<) Because he doesn’t want to get me a ring design I don’t like. And he actually blurted out one day that he was planning to propose during our Taiwan holiday, which will commence on the 14th (next Saturday). *sigh*
Unlike so many Singaporean ladies in so many proposal videos, I am TERRIBLE at faking surprise. I pick up clues pretty quickly and I know when my man’s up to something. So I can’t do the whole dramatic oh-my-God-I-can’t-believe-he’s-proposing-it’s-such-a-surprise stunt with tears streaming out of my surprisingly waterproof-mascara-ed eyes.
Reason #3: This is a purely personal reason.
I wanted to treasure him more.
Ladies here are often told that we CANNOT ‘chase’ men (or else they won’t cherish us) blah blah blah. And therefore we play hard-to-get and desire to be put on a pedestal and worshipped as a princess or queen.
More often than not, we hear of henpecked husbands and men who get nagged to death (ok, I exaggerate a little) by their wives.
The ring I wear on my finger now serves as a reminder to me that I chose this man to be my fiancé and subsequently, husband. When other people say or do things I take offense at, I let it be known to them. When my guy does the same, I hold my tongue. It’s not easy, but I’ll do it.
And now, the part I’ve been dreading to tell you about… HOW the proposal went.
I came up with the idea of proposing to him about a month ago. I figured I’d just get a ring and write a thousand-word love poem and ask him to marry me. How difficult can it be?
I got two things wrong.
Firstly, I didn’t know his ring size. Secondly, he’ll fall asleep by the second line of my thousand-word love poem.
How to figure out his ring size
Interestingly enough, when he decided to get me a proposal ring, he came over one day and slipped the ring he wears onto my finger and tried to do an estimate of my ring size, while trying to trick me into thinking that it was some game to determine how fat my fingers are.
I was having none of that. I pointed out my jewelry box to him and told him to take any ring if he wants to find out my ring size. I think he was pretty stunned. *Hehe*
When it was my turn to determine his ring size, though, I hit a snag. I would have to outrightly STEAL that one ring he has and of course, risk having him find out.
Thankfully for me, he took a shower at my place last Sunday after our 3-hour prawning & fishing session and he left his ring in the bathroom! What joy!
I pocketed the ring.
But my joy was short-lived. He came right back after his appointment in the evening and started searching for his ring, and claimed he was very certain about where he had left it. Uh-oh!
I pretended to be really busy and with no idea how his ring could have sprouted legs and run off. I promised to look for it the very next day.
The very next day, however, I determined his ring size (a size 19) and got us a pair of couple rings.
When to pop the question
Should I pop the question during dinner at his place? Or after?
Should I ask him before he started the engine to send me home? During the drive (and risk an accident)? Or when I eventually got home?
The night dragged on and each opportunity to pop the question got ruled out. For one, we were both hungry so dinner came first. Then, his grandma seemed to be especially chatty that evening.
And I figured getting into a car crash was not on my list of things to do.
So we got to my place and I took a bath first and waited for the opportune moment.
When I got out of the bath, he was lying on my bed and was attempting to set a new high score for a Bubble Buster game on his Android phone.
When he was done with the game, I would present him a (short) letter and the ring.
He finally gave up trying to set a new high score and was ready to turn his attention to me.
I told him I had something for him to read and gave him the letter.
I reached into my purse to retrieve the ring. It was gone.
I couldn’t believe it! It was there just a minute ago!!!
He was already done reading the letter which ended with “Will You Marry Me?” and there was quite a bit of dead air as he watched me digging through the belongings in my bag like a hamster which cannot remember where it left its sunflower seeds.
Damn you Murphy. For that stupid law that everything which can go wrong will.
I finally found the ring sitting smugly at the bottom of my bag.
Presented it to him and asked if he’d marry me. And he said yes. And I’ll leave the rest of the mushy bits out of this blogpost. Ha!
That night, before bed, he sent me an SMS to thank me for the “touching letter and sweet ring to bind us together”. He claimed that I now wear the pants and he wears the skirt. My reply to him was that he still wears the pants while I wear jeans and that I am still waiting for his proposal and diamond ring!
Just as during a wedding ceremony when both parties take turns to say “I do”, I believe both of us should be given the opportunity to plan for a proposal, go through the jitters (and everything that can go wrong), and finally feel the relief/satisfaction/happiness when the other party says “YES!”