Violet Lim (with her husband Jamie & their children)
CEO, LUNCH Actually
1) Why did you choose your current profession as a matchmaker and entrepreneur and what do you love most about the work you do?
Like most people out there, my childhood dream is NOT to be a matchmaker. Far from it really. I wanted to be either a doctor or a lawyer. 
I took a step closer to fulfilling my childhood dream by reading Law at university. Subsequently, I did my Masters in Personnel Management as well. However, during my summer attachments at a law firm, I discovered that as much as I love law, it was not my calling.
I wasn’t sure what I really wanted to do, hence when I was offered the position of Management Associate at Citigroup, I promptly took it up. It was there I realised a need which I never noticed before. I was quite surprised to see that many of my colleagues were single and not dating. It wasn’t because they were not attractive or not eligible. They were simply too busy, or ‘married to the bank’.
Hence, when I chanced upon the concept of lunch dating which was then very popular overseas, but never heard of in Singapore, I immediately saw that it could address the need that I saw among my colleagues!
Honestly, my husband Jamie is the more entrepreneurial of us both, as he had very early on knew that he wanted to become an entrepreneur, and he left his job even before knowing what business he was going to do. On the other hand, I was someone who was quite happy with my corporate career until we decided to start Lunch Actually.
What attracted me to this particular industry is knowing that not only is it a good business, it is a business that can do good, a business that can actually make a difference in people’s lives. That’s what I love most about what I do.
2) What is your mission in Life?
My mission in life is to make a difference and to touch as many lives as I can.
3) How do you create a work-life balance for yourself?
A one-word answer would be – Priority.
I travel a lot for business. I make it a point not to travel on weekends unless absolutely necessary. Weekends are reserved for my family. If I absolutely have to travel on weekends, I will spend time with my family on one of the week days. We will just go for a family outing either at the Zoo, Bird Park, or Botanical Gardens. My husband and I also focus on both quantity and quality time. Quantity time during the weekends, and quality time during the weekdays. 
I am also extremely grateful to have very supportive parents and parents-in-law. My helper is also amazing. Many people I know have some challenges dealing with their helpers. Hence, many have asked me, why is it I don’t seem to have too many issues. Again it’s priority. I am very clear with my helper where the priority lies – the kids. Hence, I am ok if my clothes are not ironed as straight as they can be, or the house is not as tidy as it can be. By cultivating a support system, I have less stress and can focus on quality time with the family.
My husband and I make it a point to go on at least one date night a week, without the kids.
And very importantly, we can only give when we ourselves are ‘complete’. Thus, I always have ‘me’ time where I can recharge, reflect and rejuvenate.
4) What are some of Life’s lessons that you would want to share with your children as they are growing up?
There are so many… If I have to choose a few, I would say they are:
1) Always be respectful be it to people who are older or younger than you. When you respect others, others will respect you too.
2) Create your own culture. You do not need to be a follower, you can be a leader. Just because something is cool does not mean that it’s cool (or right) for you.
3) Never stop learning. The day you stop learning, is the day you stop growing.
4) Always give back to society. We have been extremely blessed. Do not forget others who might not have been as blessed.
5) Which are your top 3 tips for singles who want to find Mr/Ms. Right?
1) Like everything in life, it’s all about mind set. Are you open to meeting the right one, are you telling yourself every day that all the good men or good women are taken? If you do not believe that you can actually meet him or her, chances are you won’t.
2) As much as we would love for him or her to ‘drop from the sky’ and just appear right in front of us, we know that it’s unlikely to happen. Create opportunities and platforms to meet new people. Dating is a numbers game. If you are not even meeting 10 single men or women a year, what are the chances you will actually meet the one?
3) Love at first sight usually happens at the movies. After the first date, if you did not experience fireworks and instant chemistry, know that most married couples did not experience that when they first met their soul mate. Go on a second and a third date to get to know each other better. Give your date a chance, give yourself a chance. Give love a chance.
Grace says: Persistence pays off, whether in getting a date, finding your soul mate or getting an interview for this blog. I waited 10 months(!) for this interview. So, if your Mr/Ms Right isn’t falling from the sky into your lap, like Violet mentioned, you have gotta start putting in some work!
To help you along, Violet has written a book ‘Lessons From 15,000 First Dates’.
To purchase this book, click here, or read this first…
The book is promising right from the start, with a foreword by Ms Claire Chiang from Banyan Tree Holdings. Claire had me nodding when she wrote “The biggest pitfall in any relationship is to always compare and diminish the person you are dating now”. Guilty as charged, I am. It’s good to have someone point out all the common dating blindspots. And Violet does just that in her book.
Ever got hurt in a relationship and wondering how you can get rid of the emotional baggage? Violet shares her own story of heartbreak and how we can let go of the past too, in chapter 2 of the book. I know many ladies need to read this, and possibly, guys too.
Chapter 8 caught me by surprise – “Why Beautiful And Successful Women Finish Last In Dating”. Want to know how you can identify those who are mere time-wasters, and will not end up as the life partner you so desire? This chapter is a must-read.
I loved the personal sharing, the Quizzes to ensure readers are on the same page (pun intended) as the author, the Learning Points for reinforcement, and the Q&As throughout the book, which often echo the reader’s own questions.
This book has a wealth of dating wisdom from Asia’s leading matchmaker, and from the looks of it, has been eagerly snatched up by many.
Hesitate no more and banish your dating woes now by getting a copy of Violet’s book here.
Happy Dating!
p/s: Look out for a special interview coming up in a couple of days’ time: a former beauty queen & image consultant will share tips on how we can look our best.
