What To Look Out For In A Man & Relationship Advice for Women (Part One)

Le Jia

[Picture: gcpnews.com]

Le Jia (乐嘉), from the hugely popular Chinese game show 非诚勿扰 (If You Are The One) has the following words of advice for women. You can read the full article in Mandarin here. I’ve only had time to quickly translate his first 10 tips. 😀

1) 不要去找不主动和你联系的男人。不管他有什么样的借口,都说明他不在意你,真正爱你的人,一天没有你的消息就会六神无主,他不会,说明不爱你,最起码不是深爱。

Don’t look for men who do not take the initiative to contact you. No matter what excuses he gives for not contacting you, it all shows he does not really care about you. A man who really loves you will feel uncomfortable not hearing from you for even a day. If he’s not like that, it means he does not love you, or at least, is not deeply in love with you.

2) 远离不舍得为你花钱的男人。一个男人不舍的为你花钱,别指望他以后会对你有多好,

Stay away from men who are unwilling to spend money on you. Don’t expect such a person to be good to you in future too.

3) 坚强地面对分手。不要哭天抹泪,别干撕照片、烧信、毁日记这类只有傻瓜才干的事。坚持相信爱情,相信好男人还存在,还在茫茫人海中寻觅你。别说“男人没一个好东西”这样使别人误以为你阅人无数的话。

Be strong when going through a breakup. Do not cry, tear up photos, burn letters, or destroy diaries like a fool would do. Insist on believing in love – that good men still exist, and that someone is in fact looking for you in this sea of people. Don’t say that there are no good men – this might mislead people into thinking you have been in a countless number of relationships.

4) 不要做拜金女。 爱物质没有错,但要适当,永远记着,精神更重要!

Don’t be a material girl. There is nothing wrong with loving material things, but know your limits. Always remember that the ‘spirit’ is more important.

5) 不要以貌取人。 爱一个人不要看他的相貌,相貌是虚幻的东西,只有灵魂才是真实的,空有好的相貌而没有内涵的人,多半是昙花一现。当感情陷入危机时,再好的相貌也会令人憎恶。情人眼里出西施,相貌的好坏会随着爱与不爱转换的!

Do not judge a person by his appearance. Looks are fleeting, only the soul is real. With just good looks and no substance, it’s all short-lived. When there is a relationship crisis, even his good looks could become detestable to you. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Your perception of his looks will change based on whether you are in love with him or not.

6) 找一个忠厚、侠义,跟你合得来的人。他喜欢你做的一切,你喜欢他做的一切,这就是好夫妻,否则,花无法为悦己者容。

Find someone honest, chivalrous, and who gets along well with you. He likes everything you do, and vice versa. This makes for a good relationship. Otherwise, you won’t find someone who takes pleasure in what you do.

7) 不要为爱情增添附加条件。婚姻是搭伙过日子,不是谁养谁。男人要有养家的能力,但并不代表你不需要工作。

Love should not come with additional conditions. Marriage is about a partnership, not one person living off the other. The man must be able to support the family, but it doesn’t mean that you do not have to work.

8) 会动手打女人的男人绝不能要。高大魁梧的男人,如果对你不好,打起你来又狠又重,弄不好你的小身板就被打散架了。

Never accept a man who beats women. A big, burly man, when nasty to you, can break your bones.

9) 不要爱上帅气的男人。这类男人通常都是大众情人,中老年妇女的偶像,今天是你的,明天说不上就是别人的,如果你甘愿跟别的女人共同瓜分他,那么,就请义无反顾的爱吧!

Don’t fall in love with a handsome man. He is usually attractive to many, idolized by middle-aged women. He could be yours today, and perhaps someone else’s tomorrow. If you don’t mind sharing him with other women, then go ahead and love him.

10) 不要爱上没有道德的男人。有道德的人远比别墅、名车金贵,金钱能给你带来享受却不能带来幸福,人是有灵魂的,精神的充实远比身体的享受令人愉悦。

Don’t fall in love with a man without morals. A man with good morals is more valuable than villas and fast cars. Money can bring you enjoyment but not lasting happiness. The soul derives more joy from spiritual fulfillment than physical pleasure.


Disclaimer: I take no responsibility for the accuracy of the English translations – I’ve done my best. Such translation work usually gives me headaches. But I thought that people who can’t understand Chinese might appreciate the translation. Let me know in the comments below if you’ve enjoyed this. And I’ll go on to translate the rest. 🙂