26 Signs You’ve Been In Singapore For Too Long

[ The original post with 60 ‘signs’ can be accessed here. I’ve picked only the most relevant 26 for this post. ]

1. You think there’s nothing wrong with putting chili sauce on everything you eat.

2. You wait for instructions from people in authority before doing anything. Always.

3. You join queues without knowing or caring what the queue is for.

4. You can type an SMS on your phone as quickly as you would if you had a regular keyboard.

5. Your idea of a good night out consists of having dinner at a hawker centre, drinking beer, and then going to another hawker centre and eating again.

6. You’ve lost your ability to criticize people in higher positions than you, even if they’re wrong.

7. You would buy a $20 product you don’t need if it’s on sale for $10 just to save the money.

8. You think it’s okay to have only one meaningful choice on a ballot.

9. “Crossing the country” means taking the MRT to the end of the line.

10. You don’t just know what “kiasu” means, you have become it!

11. You would cross the entire country all day to find the places that make the perfect fried noodles, or roti prata, or ice kacang, or chili crab. And none of these places would be close to each other.

12. Most or all of these acronyms make sense to you: NUS; NTU; ERP; SDU; PAP; MRT; LKY; GCT; PRC; TIBS; SBS; SMS; JB; JBJ; AMK; AYE; PIE; ECP; ISD; ISA; 5 C’s; CPF; CHIJMES; SPG; CWO.

13. You use too many acronyms when you talk, or you create new ones.

14. You think that $100,000 is a reasonable price for a Toyota Corolla and $1,000,000 is a reasonable price for a bungalow, but $5 for a plate of fried noodles is a barbarous outrage.

15. You believe that not being able to get decent roti prata outside Singapore is enough to keep the best and the brightest people from leaving.

16. You see nothing unusual about an organization of trade unions spending more time owning and operating supermarkets, drugstores, amusement parks, and financial services outlets than planning the next strike.

17. You believe that a lack of land is enough justification for the government to do what it wants.

18. Durian and belachan no longer stink to you.

19. You’re not confused by a street naming system that locates streets like Clementi Road, Clementi Street, Clementi Crescent, Clementi Lane, Clementi Drive, Clementi Way, and Clementi Avenues 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, and 7 all within walking distance of each other.

20. You get irritated if you don’t see a sign telling you how long your wait’s going to be for a bus, a train, or the expressway to take you where you want to go.

21. You’re certain that Holland Village is for hippie bohemian artist types and not overpaid yuppies.

22. When you cross the border into Malaysia, you automatically and deeply fear for your life and your wallet. Especially your wallet!!

23. You forgot what chewing gum tastes like.

24. You think chicken floss, corn, mayonnaise, and tandoori spices are proper pizza toppings.

25. You accept that expressways here are cleaner than toilets rather than the other way around.

26. You understand everything on this list!!

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