(Movie Review) Fifty Shades Of Grey: Boobs, Bondage and Badassery

Fifty Shades Of Grey

[image credit: popsugar.co.uk]

I’ve yet to read the book, but since it’s all the rage now, I decided to watch the ‘Fifty Shades Of Grey’ movie. The end to the movie was abrupt, no doubt, but what a thought-provoking, mind-blowing, eye-opening movie it was. Good grief. Yes, it’s all boobs, bondage and badassery. And many questions to keep you thinking.

I’ll leave the ‘boobs’ portion to your imagination, or till you watch this movie. Let’s skip to the badassery bit since the boyfriend (who watched the movie with me) asked, after the show, if I thought the same (BDSM) storyline would work if the male lead is a poor lad. Without hesitation, I told him “of course not!” and that I’d bet the not-very-rich fella would get thrown into prison faster than you can say “pervert”.

After all, who can forget that helicopter scene?

Fifty Shades Of Grey

[image credit: mercedesblog.com]

How many of the people you know go on a first date with a guy and it involves a helicopter ride (medical evacuations not counted)? I’d say it’s close to none, right? While watching this in the cinema, I was thinking “Why a helicopter? Hmm… why not? ‘Cos chauffeured car rides are just too mainstream?”

And the other scene in which they are in a carpark and she asks him which of those expensive-looking cars is his, and his reply is that they’re all his? Wow.

If you are this rich, I guess you can have just about any woman you want, even if you have a fetish for, let’s just say, unusual sex acts. And in this movie, he reveals that he has a room in his apartment for these women to stay in. The female lead is guest #16.

I don’t know if he is confident because he is rich, or the other way round. But that kind of sell-your-car-and-buy-you-a-new-one-just-because behavior really displays confidence that can sweep many women off their feet.

*Spoiler alert* Skip the next paragraph if you don’t want to read a summary of the movie!

Fifty Shades Of Grey

[image credit: nydailynews.com]

A very quick summary of the movie: 21-year-old Anastasia interviews billionaire 27-year-old Christian Grey for a student newspaper. He later appears in the hardware store where she works, and buys cable ties, masking tape and rope. He sends her a gift of (expensive) books and picks her up when she gets drunk, and she ends up in his hotel room. They go on a date (remember the helicopter?) and he wants her to sign a Non-Disclosure Agreement. He shows her his playroom full of BDSM equipment. He reveals that he lost his virginity at age 15 to one of his mother’s friends. They eventually have a dominant/submissive contract, and she gets spanked. He gives her lavish gifts like a new car. When she finally asks him to punish her so she can understand the worst extremes of a BDSM relationship, she is horrified, after the 6 lashes. And the movie ends with her leaving his apartment.

And then there’s the BDSM sh*t…

When ordered to, she is supposed to get naked, and kneel at the door to his ‘playroom’. And oh, she has to have her hair in a plait. Pretty sick sh*t.

Fifty Shades Of Grey

[image credit: nydailynews.com]

I guess it seems kinky at the start, then it rapidly becomes really freaky. At some point, you might even think she has become his sex slave.

And while some people slam this movie for portraying women in a submissive role blah blah blah, I do think the female lead character was flirtatious, knew (most of the time) what she was getting herself into, and she was not raped. Even that final (punishment) scene? She was the one who told him to do whatever he wanted to do to her. Why get so upset after that then? Right from the start, he had already given her a laptop and told her to do some ‘research’ on the topic. I would argue that she should have known.

And once again, she displays that horrible female trait – that stupid insistence that we can help men heal their (emotional) wounds, that we can change them for the better, that they just need to share their feelings with us. Haiz.

All in all, I think this movie is great for couples who could use some help with their sex lives. Ladies, bring your husbands to watch this movie. And no, don’t go buying ropes, cable ties or handcuffs and the like, please! That’s sick! Just use ice cubes and feathers (maybe from your feather duster?) and try not to choke on ice cubes from laughing too hard 😀 #justkidding

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~ Picture from the movie premiere ~

Fifty Shades Of Grey

[image credit: mirror.co.uk]

Not sure why Dakota Johnson chose this dress. Having already seen her boobs in their entirety (multiple times) during the movie, a plunging neckline now seems like a joke. Would have been better if she chose to cover up. And I can’t say I like her choice of lip color very much too. Kind of vamp-ish when coupled with that dress. Hmm.

I also think Jamie Dornan should ditch that beard. 😄 He seems more handsome in the movie. Ha!

Will YOU be watching this movie? 🙂 I think I’ll grab a copy of the book. I’ve heard that it’s crappy fan fiction with horrible writing – we’ll see. Book review next, maybe? 😀

6 thoughts on “(Movie Review) Fifty Shades Of Grey: Boobs, Bondage and Badassery

  1. Grace, I watch liao, only 10 shades of grey, no piang for me. Almost felt like watching a comedy cum romance cum sad story, think I laughed more LOLL

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