Slaying The Dragon In Each Of Us

Slaying The Dragon

I made sure I took a dump before writing this. So people can accuse me of many things but they cannot say I am being ‘anal-retentive’. 😉

Now, first things first. I have not read that blogpost, but concerned people around me have sent me questions regarding its contents, so I have a vague notion of what’s in that blogpost (and I do believe the writer had the good sense to consult a lawyer before uploading it so it would seem ‘milder’ as compared to blogposts uploaded years ago).

C's comment

It is true that the doctor wrote down, verbatim, what I told her in the consultation room. And it is also true that while the rest of my affidavit submitted to court was typed out and printed, I had handwritten the ‘poor sleep, headaches, and loose stools’ portion as “symptoms” of my being harassed, and some say, ‘cyber-bullied’.

I knew that anyone who wanted to embarrass, insult, torment, or simply, mock me would pounce on that ‘loose stools’ bit.

And I have been proven right.

Has anyone wondered why I wrote down those symptoms with a pen instead of having it typed out and printed? 😉

So it would be impossible to miss.

*And by the way, I’ve already shared on Facebook and Twitter that if you want to send me toilet paper, I prefer the one with Hello Kitty print on it. Don’t be a ‘cheapo’ ok? 🙂


If you have been bullied in school before, you’ll know this: The bullying doesn’t stop even if you have already shown signs of distress.

For instance, the school bully taunts Little Amy and makes her cry. Does the bullying stop there? More often than not, it doesn’t. “Oh Amy Amy, why are you crying? You’re such a crybaby! Crybaby, crybaby, crybaby!”

In adulthood, what does this translate to?

If you hand over a medical document/report to describe what you are experiencing (because now your bully doesn’t see you crying in the playground), does he/she wave it about like a victory flag? I believe you have the answer.

Come to think of it, who has never experienced ‘loose stools’ before? A more commonly used term is ‘diarrhoea’. I had the pleasure of being hosted for dinner by my Malaysian blogger pal on Wednesday night. The delicious Thai food cooked by a real Thai chef in a restaurant in KL was SO spicy that we all had loose stools by Thursday morning. I can’t say that anyone complained, because the food tasted really good – we just couldn’t stomach the ‘heat’. LOL.

Hands up if you have never had diarrhoea or loose stools before in your entire life! 😀


Now, I have already shared in an earlier blogpost that I am no saint, I made mistakes previously in calling my hater certain unflattering names, and I have apologized for it, but the person had requested that I remove that blogpost with the public apology. So, what to do?

I have also requested that Wendy remove her blogpost. Email sent last night. Will she do it?

Wendy Cheng Email

I have never tried to be right all the time. I do only strive to be fair.

Even when I did that blogpost about how even the best bloggers lie, I made sure to state that I felt I also fail to be 100% honest 100% of the time. Because no one is capable of that. Can you be 100% honest all the time? No, so to be fair, I was not targeting any single blogger. I was stating that I, like all other bloggers, have encountered times when companies and agencies have asked us to remove the “advertorial” / “sponsored post” tag, or been asked to write about a product/service using keywords and phrases stated in the press release. In fact, I’ve been requested to sign a Non-Disclosure Agreement recently to state that I cannot reveal details about one agency doing this, i.e. requesting that the blogposts don’t come with disclaimers.

Now, about kids and family members being dragged into blogger spats. I am definitely of the opinion that the innocent people not be brought into these things. And I fully respected the fact that a loving mother would want to celebrate her son’s birthday, and be there with him 100%. So, the day before the birthday, I stated publicly on my blog that I would not do anything to ruin their day if I did not hear from her. But I did hear from her. I received an email with a super-long Letter Of Demand from her lawyer (sent to me on the child’s birthday). It had excessively harsh terms, and even asked me to propose a sum of damages, which they would later want to negotiate too. In short, she wanted to sue me for “Defamation”.

It was not your typical cease-and-desist letter.

So I made the comment on my Instagram post that someone seems to care more about herself than about her child’s birthday. Simply because I had already stated I won’t say anything more about our spat, and that she could send me letters or emails or even make more comments about me on any other day. Why not just be full of love on your child’s birthday? Kids only turn age two ONCE.

Was my offer of an olive branch on a cute kid’s birthday fair? I think so. Would I want her to do such a thing for me if I have a kid and am celebrating his birthday today? Yes, I would.

You and I know that children, especially really young children, are innocent and should not be brought into any blogger spat.

Now, what about the adults at home?

Perhaps this deserves mention: I brought in the subject of her mother not because she had merely, or ‘accidentally’, hit the ‘Like’ button on her daughter’s less-than-kind comments about me. I am of the opinion that if a mother is strongly opposed to other bloggers commenting about her son, that this same mother should also be strongly opposed to her daughter’s caustic remarks about another blogger.

I believe someone old enough should also have the good sense to be fair enough, and not have double standards.

Don’t you think that’s only fair?

In any case, pardon me for not being clear enough in my affidavit about why the mother came into the picture. I am no lawyer, and have never had any legal training, and did not know I need a 37558345982391-word ‘Written Submission’ to go along with it. But now I do. 😉 (*You don’t really need so many words but you get the idea. *wink* In any case, just hire a lawyer. Or if you need a template, email me and I might be able to send you one)

*As for the Protection Order (PO) + Lawyer fees, let me just state upfront that it’s no 5-figure sum. I spent approximately S$2,000 all-in, GST and all. If you need proof, email me and I can scan and send you the bills when I get back to Singapore.

If you have been harassed and need to get a protection order, here are some things to note:

1) Furnish proof of a threat of physical harm to you or your loved ones. I avoided naming imaginary stalkers or setting up hate sites just to bolster my case because I respect that whatever I submit in court has to be under oath, and you just don’t mess with such things. If you say someone is stalking you, and claim to have proof, then if he/she later shows proof of being overseas at that time, then well… you are sc***ed. And if you set up a hate site which people later trace back to you as the originator, double whammy.

2) If the Respondent you are taking out a PO against does not have a public identity (i.e. is anonymous) then it gets tricky. But get a lawyer and he/she can help you work around it.

3) If the Respondent does not show up in court, you have a higher chance of getting that PO granted.

Now, my case: My Respondent sent a lawyer to represent her, I did not state that I was being stalked/had death threats made against me/have hate sites about me that constitute a serious harm to my well-being, PLUS my Respondent had removed all her comments made about me a few days before the Pre-Trial Conference. Also, her lawyer was instructed to send me her affidavit and written submission THE DAY BEFORE the PTC, “out of goodwill”.

So the judge and I agreed that there was no longer a need for a PO since my Respondent seemed very agreeable, and even undertook not to make any further comments about me after the PTC. And so I withdrew my application for the PO. Why pay more money and go for mediation, right? Since the judge already said it’s gonna be costly to go all the way and fight for a PO, and my Respondent seems, erm… friendly?

And now… you know what happened next.

The blogpost was uploaded yesterday and my Respondent even tagged me on Instagram (a first!) so that I would be notified that she had blogged about me. RIGHT BEFORE I took to the stage at the Malaysian Social Media Week for my presentation. One can easily check the agenda online and know what time I’ll take to the stage. 😉 Tun Dr Mahathir spoke just before I did, and it was definitely a ‘peak in my career as a blogger’. Did my Respondent extend the same courtesy to me, the way I did for her child’s birthday?

It was definitely not ‘gentlemanly’ (or ‘ladylike’, if you want to be anal about gender), and in Singaporean terms, definitely ‘BUAY STEADY‘.

But is Life always fair? Nope. So I’ve learnt.


Why the title ‘Slaying The Dragon In Each Of Us’?

Because, to be fair, all of us have a “dragon” within us. As Tun Dr Mahathir shared with us in KL yesterday, social media presents us each with opportunities to have “absolute power” and we are largely free to “irritate” people online.

This is why I have publicly admitted and apologized for using the term “pineapple blogger” (and its variations), after my Facebook follower pointed it out. I believe the term is not vulgar but could still be offending to the party on the receiving end.

I think that’s fair.

Have I received any form of apology, other than what I thought was a sincere undertaking to not make anymore “insulting, threatening or abusive” comments about me after 15th April 2015’s Pre-Trial Conference?


Ladies and Gentlemen, I think it’s time we start to use social media responsibly. Also, I do hope for a better blogosphere.

I have learnt so much just these couple of days. And I have to thank my Malaysian blogger pal, Sock Peng, for giving me this opportunity to learn and grow. She is one of the top Mandarin bloggers in Malaysia and she often does things which make me (a Singaporean blogger) slightly puzzled.

1. When I came to Malaysia for a holiday earlier this year, she sent out a couple of emails and helped get me and my fiance sponsored accommodation. She doesn’t get paid to do this. This certainly goes beyond just taking your visitors from overseas out for dinner.

2. An advertiser contacted her regarding advertorials to promote a trendy range of bags, and she asked if I’d be keen to take on the assignment too, so people in Singapore could know about this brand which is famous in Taiwan but doesn’t have stores in Singapore (yet). And yes, I got the deal, and no, she doesn’t get paid to refer me.

3. She was involved in filming for a TV program about local food recently, and she even recommended other bloggers to the producer, and got these bloggers featured on the show too.

The way she helps support other bloggers is something I try to emulate. In fact, I had the pleasure of recommending Sock Peng to the organizers for Malaysia Social Media Week 2015 so she could join me as a fellow Speaker at this amazing event, and share about ‘Mandarin blogs’.

And I am happy to announce that she did a great job too. 🙂

Likewise, in Singapore, I have had the pleasure of recommending bloggers to advertisers for paid assignments. Bloggers like Alvin, Regina, Kirbie, Steven Lek and Steven Teo, Melvin, Dawn (her surname’s not Yang), Hong Peng, Joey, Rachel, etc., have received paid assignments due to my recommendations.

So I now have an announcement to make:

I no longer want to be a blogger. I want to be an author, a speaker, an anti-bullying activist. I’m not just a blogger.

I have been on both the receiving and giving ends of Bullying. Whether passive-aggressive or not, I have (and I do admit) retaliated in my own way. And if this should happen again, yes, I would urge netizens to call me out on that and say “Hey, this isn’t what an anti-bullying activist does!”

More importantly, I want to support bloggers. Because, to me, you don’t have to be in my ‘clique’ or inner circle before I’d recommend you to an advertiser of mine. If the advertiser wants to engage more bloggers but doesn’t want to take the route of paying a marketing agency for influencers, I’m always happy to link them up with bloggers I trust will do a good job of promoting their product or service.

To conclude this very long blogpost, let me just say that it’s been a great learning experience and I believe everything happens for a reason. If you ever feel like ‘shitting your pants’ in fear because a bully has come after you, you are welcome to chat with me. Honestly, I have been terrified before – ‘poking’ a dragon in the eye (or so that analogy goes) can have disastrous consequences even if you think you have brought enough ‘fire extinguishers’. Who knew what an application for a PO against a not-anonymous top-blogger-awarded-by-the-company-she-has-shares-in would bring about, since it was a first?

What have I learnt? There will always be Bullies, and there will always be Trolls. What matters most is not their attacks on you, but your response to them. Don’t let someone else’s ‘dragon’ awake the ‘dragon’ in you.

Heard about the Cherokee Legend about the ‘good wolf’ and the ‘bad wolf’? Well… I leave you with this:


One evening, an old Cherokee Indian told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, ‘My son, the battle is between two ‘wolves’ inside us all.One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.

The other is good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.’

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: ‘Which wolf wins?’

The old Cherokee simply replied, ‘The one you feed.’


85 thoughts on “Slaying The Dragon In Each Of Us

  1. I believe what xx meant by the five figure sum was that HER legal costs could amount to five figures, and that if one fails in applying for a PO against her, they may be made to pay her legal costs. She was warning people not to flippantly apply for POs against her.

    Anyways, your stories and anecdotes are nice 🙂 but you’ve still failed to explain why you think you were cyber bullied, and why you felt threatened to apply for a PO against her in the first place? There was no explanation with regard to all the negative comments you made about her before she finally retaliated. And she only retaliated twice right? As compared to the many posts you made about her, whether negative or positive.

    I hope you can address those issues too. Thank you 🙂

    • That’s crazy because I have proof that someone asked people to take out a PO against her if she has insulted or defamed them. Wait for the PROOF. I’m still in KL. Wait till I get back.

      Sure I’ll address them. I simply ask for patience. Let me just share that I was BUSY with my speaking engagement in KL. I was the speaker right after Tun Dr Mahathir. So her blogpost really caught me by surprise. If you want good solid proof, I just need some time to compile what I have. 😉

    • Yes please! I think XX’s case is strong in the sense that she had solid evidence of whatever that was going on from her point of view. Like what 1sixtynine mentioned above, I suppose the general public would love to hear what caused the change in attitude. It would otherwise be very difficult for people to believe you… (:

      Please do clarify when you can! When do you get back from KL?

  2. It’s embarrassing that you said at the beginning of the post that you have not read “that” blogpost, yet you made a lot of snide remarks about the contents within it, making it obvious that you read it… Why not just admit it…
    Wendy made it clear that you were the one harassing her at first, then when she defended herself, you freaked out and made yourself seem like the victim, when YOU were the bully.
    Again, embarrassing for you…
    And you want to be a motivational speaker?? HA. Why would someone want to listen to a girl who can’t even be honest!
    And honestly, stop making remarks as if Wendy isn’t a good mother, if that’s your best defense, then you know your the one who’s wrong here.

    • It’s embarrassing when I’ve already stated that friends have been asking me questions about the blogpost (which I still have not read), and people still insist on saying I’ve read it. If you have a presentation to do, and it’s the highlight of your career, do you have time to read a blogpost you know is just out to ‘slam’ you? If you are away from your home country, for work and also for leisure, do you want to ruin your time away from home because of a blogpost? Nah. I’ll read it back in Singapore with my lawyers. Reading a blogpost is not a crime. If I’ve done it, I’ll admit it. Haiyah don’t say so much. I’ll be sharing the PROOF that everyone wants very soon. Be patient, ok?

    • If you just read the blogpost that Wendy made you would know that Wendy already has so much proof against you…
      If you have time to type out these long replies to comments you have time to read the blogpost…

  3. I saw her IG post and I must say, I’m extremely disgusted by her actions. What person would feel so happy to cause someone else’s misfortune and gloat all about it? You’re handling this with so much grace( no pun intended) and I salute you for it! Continue your inspiring work! I’ll keep you in my prayers 🙂

  4. Why can’t you just move on? Xiaxue has already agreed not to post anything about you. Let it go and stop making a fool of yourself.

    • EH hello, I already moved on. I moved all the way to KL for work liao leh? Not enough ah? You think I have time to comment about her when I had to prepare for my presentation which is right after Tun Dr Mahathir? Sorry, she’s not significant enough for me to do that. And then now what? After someone has humiliated me, the person can just say “Oh I won’t do it again, won’t bother you again” and I should not be angry at the humiliation and distress caused? Wake up your idea please. Hello???

    • Dear Grace, please don’t be so incoherent. YOU HUMILIATED HER. PLEASE JUST ADMIT THAT. It really is so bloody sickening when someone rats out others but she started it first. XX was just explaining her view on how it all started. You call that humiliation? Is it really wrong for her to clear the air, especially to her readers and current/potential clients? How about your countless posts on accusing her of things she did not do, blatantly attacking her line of work and her parenting skills, openly on social media? Isn’t that not humiliating someone? Honestly i don’t get your idea, If you were so affected by her comments WHY DID YOU PUBLICIZE THE WHOLE DAMN AFFAIR ON SOCIAL MEDIA?? Why not just keep quiet about it? In you posts where you said that you’re ‘affected’ you even tell readers to follow your twitter/instagram account for updates. Seriously? Please be honest and truthful about your TRUE INTENTIONS because this, directly or indirectly affects your integrity as a blogger.

    • Well, because one of the things that started it all is someone making fun of the number of IG followers I have, despite knowing that I am active mainly on Facebook and IG is not my SM account of choice. Later on, it was omitted in all accounts about me that I have over 15K fans on Facebook and over 100K on Migme. I don’t know who is the one concealing facts from netizens.

      But it is ok. Time will tell. Meeting the Judge this month. Only what the Judge says, matters.

  5. You seem to be obesessed with how you spoke right before Tun Mahathir but trust me when I say it does not add any credibility whatsoever to who you are. Attention-seeking opportunist, riding on the attention XX drives towards you, victimizing yourself (pathetic) and claiming to be an activist when you started the bullying. Simply hypocritical. You’re like a primary school kid crying in class, expecting the teacher to serve you and only you. You’re no match for XX. And try as you may to add “humour” in your style of writing, it comes off as simply corny. Learn from XX a thing or two about being witty.

  6. I have only one word to say about this blog post, “Sui”. To me, there is no point responding to the negative comments posted in response to this blog. If a person has integrity, after saying he/she will not do something negative to another person, the former should just stick to it. Readers have eyes to see. So does heaven (and our Heavenly Father). Just pray for that person. If we must retaliate, let’s strive to do it with grace (:p).

    • Integrity? If one has integrity, there’s no reason to attempt to “show evidence” in a later post after the case has concluded. The evidence is already on the public domain. Xiaxue had a strong case. She didn’t push the matter, she had the grace (ironically) to settle with the offending party. If your “heavenly father” was just and fair, he would be facepalming so hard at how self-righteous and opportunistic Grace can be. If Grace was such a good person, she would have contacted the media to correct them for the character assassination done against XX. But no, she’s such a hypocrite.

    • Wow. What irony. Character assassination from the person who claims I am guilty of it. My conscience is clear. But time will tell. And I’m leaving it to the Court.

  7. LOL Are you so desperate for fame? Out of nowhere, you, a freaking nobody, filed a PO against xx even when she didn’t do anything. *rolls eyes*
    You are truly delusional or a fucked up two faced hypocrite bitchm Probably both ~

  8. Seriously quit plugging yourself by constantly mentioning how you spoke right after Mahathir (he played his part at ruining M’sia btw). The people who came asking about Xiaxue really don’t care. You have a bad habit of clouding your entire narrative with superfluous illustrations. I don’t even support or like XX that much but at least she doesn’t waste my time by getting to the point in her writing.

    Anyway, she mentioned that at least one of your posts was still lying around not deleted past the supposed agreed deadline. What gives?

    Not sure why you still need to contest the facts by showing evidence now though. You initiated the PO with the courts, XX dug out all that evidence, was said to have a very strong case, and you simply withdraw your PO. Why? You mean you posted the PO then decided to stroll into court without evidence? Why not pull out your evidence there and defend yourself? We can only assume your hand was weaker and you had to fold. You two decided to settle, and now you’re STILL harping about the supposed bullying. I thought you weren’t supposed to mention it anymore. When does it end?

    I think it’s a supreme waste of the court’s time and taxpayer dollars having them listening to your case. Especially when you’re not going to adhere to the agreement you signed and continue milking the cow.

  9. [Edited]

    The b***** still has her negative post about you on her site. I’d recommend seeking legal advise and taking action (without any publicity – you can do that after)

  10. And here you are, fanning the flames again just as xx had predicted. If you hadn’t read her blogpost and yet post a ‘retaliating’ piece against something you have not read, that is insulting everyone’s intelligence, no? Xx’s reference to 5 figure sum of legal costs are referring to her own legal costs if the case is stretched out, which you may have to pay if you lose the case. Who the fuck cares about YOUR legal costs? Oh my god please read her blogpost before coming up with an argument you have no idea what an embarassment you sound now.

    I feel really sorry for Xx, she should have went all the way. You deserve to be taught a lesson.

  11. And please, delete the snide part about you insulting xx’s mother. It is highly disrespectful and you have no right to be judging someone’s mother. Very offensive.

  12. It is not about who’s right and who’s wrong. I just feel that the way you write things is not attractive and reasonable enough. The most important point is, you kept emphasizing being a speaker after Tun Dr, Mahathir for so many times. This is sooo disgusting.. Just some advice for you if you wanna be a popular blogger.

  13. Hi Grace,

    First of all, I just want to state that I am not on anyone’s side. However, I do feel that your reply to XX’s blogpost is really harming your own reputation. As a reader, yes, I’ve read her side of the story first. What would be better for you is firstly to try refrain from any more bad provocative jokes in your post and make a reply professionally or just apologize for all that you have done. Yes you apologized for a few things but also with a tinge (actually a lot) of sarcasm. Honestly, the sarcasm ain’t doing you any good.

    You say you are for anti-bullying, however, what readers can see is not the case. You should practice what you preach. All the little comments that you made really made you the smaller person. It’s not nice to hear this but you do look like the one who’s been bullying XX. I don’t say this because I support XX but that is what I feel after reading both sides of the story. You are also very aggressive when it comes to comments that your readers write to you. You must understand that they would just like to know more about the situation too. I hope you learn a lot from this, as you mentioned above, and learn how to be the bigger person. Like I said, you may feel offended by the comment but please note, everyone is watching.

    All the best.

  14. Stop making yourself like a fool.. you are such a hypocrite, a real bitch.. you are just using her name for fame… Everyone knows who is the real bully. LOL. you are such a loser. kthxbye.

  15. from the looks of it, you bullied her first…and your “antibullying” campaigns is just a camouflage of you extending your bully–you’re capitalising on people’s misconception of xx’s bullying. People like to assume…oh XX ‘bullied this and that’ w/o knowing the whole story, leading to this myth of XX cyber bullying. I only hope that in your ‘antibullying’ campaigns, you will have clear idea what constitutes cyber bullying, and catch the REAL cyber bullies.

  16. Dear Grace and for all the readers that will be reading, WE GET IT. YOU ARE THE SPEAKER AFTER DR. TUN MAHATHIR. YOU ARE THE SPEAKER AFTER TUN MAHATHIR. YOU ARE THE SPEAKER after… c’mon people chant with me 100x!! She seems so proud of it! Call yourself an anti-bullying activist? Seems that you are one paranoid woman who can’t even receive harsh criticisms and negative remarks, and shoots them down one by one. The way you yourself responded to Xiaxue’s comments on FB, and your comments on another FB page clearly showed that you are one horrid woman who is herself capable of bully and nasty trolling behaviour and activities. But hey, so what, YOU ARE THE SPEAKER AFTER DR. TUN MAHATHIR. YOU ARE THE SPEAKER AFTER DR. TUN MAHATHIR.. YOU ARE…..

  17. Hi Grace, just wanted to share my thoughts.

    It is highly amusing how you claim to be bullied but at the same time you admit in your blogpost that you have done certain things on purpose to invoke the response you knew you would get. I don’t know many people who have been bullied but I think someone who has suffered from “loss of sleep” and “loose stools” shouldn’t, and wouldn’t be actively trying to provoke the bully into bullying them. This isn’t standing up to bullying. This is actively seeking bullying. From my perspective (and I’m sure many other readers’ too) it is as though you are going up to the bully in the school and intentionally doing something stupid in front of her to get her to notice you. She may still be considered a bully in this case from previous experiences or whatever but SHE DID NOT BULLY YOU. This is in contrast to a situation where you are minding your own business, and the bully approaches you and actively / aggressively pokes fun at you for NO GOOD REASON.

    You should appreciate the difference between bullying (defined above) and people poking fun at you especially when it seems that you tried to provoke them into doing so. The latter is only a human thing to do. Not ideal, but human and definitely not worth seeking out a Protection Order for it and wasting the courts’ time over a silly catfight that you started. Also, this is purely my opinion but I think you didn’t suffer a loss of sleep / loose stools / whatever because you felt so embarrassed or hurt by Xiaxue’s words. (On this subject, you are an award-winning blogger and therefore by default also a public figure – shouldn’t you be prepared to deal with comments and insults?) You claim that Xiaxue is insignificant. In that case I am very puzzled at why you let her words affect you especially when it’s only her making the comments to you. None of her readers even had a clue as to what was going on and there was certainly no crowd of readers flocking to harass you as well (at least until you decided to publicize everything and constantly make references to it on your social media platforms la haha). What is the difference between Xiaxue responding to you with vulgarities vs a reader who comments on your blog with vulgarities? Are you also going to take out a PO against the reader because you wanna stand up against bullying and are so passionate about this cause? If you can delete the comment and block the reader and let it go, can’t you also delete her comments and block her and let it go? Will you also lose sleep / have loose stools over the reader’s comment even though it is just THREE comments? In my opinion, it seems to me that what happened was you realised that you have made an enemy out of Xiaxue which isn’t a smart thing to do job-wise and so the only thing to do is to “stand up” against her “bullying” and try to come out a winner out of all this, bringing her down at the same time. And hence the PO, which is really a disproportionate response in my opinion.

    I have no negative intentions in posting this, but I think that you can do with some reflection on this entire saga. Also, award-winning blogger or not, I also think you can take some lessons in damage control. As far as I can see this isn’t really doing you any good. Congrats for making onto the mainstream media and getting publicity but the difference is that now we all know, or at least can infer, that all you are trying to seek is attention. It ruins your credibility as an “anti-bullying activist” and nobody is taking you seriously now. Your intentions don’t seem genuine based on your actions and behaviour. So maybe it would just be better to not respond anymore and let it go and wait for everything to settle because no matter how much “proof” you have of something, it still would not discount your fault in this entire matter.

  18. One of the most concerning things is that you said you would leave Wendy alone if she did not retaliate during Dash’s birthday. Shouldn’t you have been the bigger person and let them be have a good day regardless?
    Wendy knows more about mother hood (since she’s clearly in the process of it) than you do, and of course it is her child so she would be the #1 person to know all of his needs and wants. So who are you to suggest to her what to do within their relationship?
    With the situation of her mother liking the remark: it’s her daughter standing up for herself. I’d click the like button if I was Wendy’s mom too!
    Also, you say that you have moved on but then say that you are “angry at the humiliation and distress caused”? You are contradicting yourself dear. Here are some of the most accurate defenitions to “move on”:
    2) to stop doing something or discussing and begin doing and discussing something else
    3) to change your ideas, additudes, behavior, etc.

    As you can see, you have not moved on. You moving for “work” may change your physical state but not your mental. You have CHOSEN to discuss the matter again in these comments. Especially since you directly said that you were compiling proof.

    May I ask as to why you are doing this? Wendy has never said anything bad about you until your behavior became so utterly childish. You are also effecting Dash, does that not mean anything to you? You are upsetting not only a person, but a family. Do you understand that?
    Especially when bringing in the people who liked her comment and exploiting them in a negative manner. Even if XiaXue’s mother did support her behavior, that’s what a mother does. You should be apologizing to them more than to Wendy.

  19. It seems that MINDEF & Grace have something in common ie. they have both tried to abuse the new (rather poorly crafted) “Protection from Harassment Act”. Since there is currently no case law relevant to the new legislation, This very public and increasingly well documented spat between two online personalities with grossly inflated egos, is extremely interesting. For what it’s worth, I find that Grace wins the contest for the most inflated ego. Even a blogging luddite like myself is vaguely familiar with Wendy. Who the hell is Grace???

    On the balance of evidence (sourced from both antagonists), Grace currently has a rather WEAK CASE. I eagerly await her very confident and public declaration that new compelling evidence (in her favour) will be revealed. Incidentally, the lawyer doesn’t need to vet anything because this piece of evidence would ALREADY HAVE BEEN VETTED as part of the INITIAL APPLICATION to the Court. Wendy has already spoken out and allegedly acted against the terms of the settlement agreement. Therefore, Grace isn’t necessarily bound by those same terms, anymore. So speak up Grace and share that piece of evidence ASAP. If you need legal advice about evidence that was part of your original legal submission, a simple email from KL should suffice.

    On another matter, the evidence also suggests that Wendy has a case against Grace for defamation. One really should be careful about allegations of dishonestly, especially when a public medium is involved. The only real defence against defamation is proof of the veracity of the original allegation. So, maybe Grace could also reveal her evidence that supports her allegations about Wendy’s (and others) dishonest behaviour.

    Overall, I am very entertained by this ongoing spat. Please do continue the drama

    An interested bystander

    PS. It would be great if Grace could continue her PO application against Wendy. One should not fear legal costs if one has Grace’s level of confidence that her evidence is so compelling! She can even recover part of that costs against Wendy, after defeating Wendy’s challenge with her compelling evidence!

  20. I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one waiting since the 24th when you told everyone (on FB and IG and any other social media platforms) that you will be having your ‘proofs’ as to how you were being harassed by Wendy posted on the internet. And you also made sure to ask those who want to stay updated to follow you on your respective social medias.

    Well, Grace? We’re still waiting for it, not sure if you forgot about it (intentionally, or unintentionally) but I sure hope you’d stick to your word. Because fleeing half way in an argument you started yourself isn’t a very wise thing to do.

  21. Please don’t use the courts as a tool to gain publicity. I never would have bothered with your petty squabble if Mothership never wrote about you. I never even knew of your existence before Mothership wrote that piece. About time I unsubscribe from Mothership, considering how much trash they put on my feed. Didn’t help you at all, after XX traced your paper trail and uncovered how much of a waste of public resources you are. If every kid who took your eraser without permission then filed a PO against you, we would never have enough resources to deal with truly legit cases. It’s sad but even the Amos Yee case deserves those resources more than you. Do whatever you want, but never waste the time of civil servants. They have enough on their plate.

    You can refuse to publish my very civil first comment but realize that I’m very average and many people are not stupid. They are more than able to slice through all your bullshit and grasp the salient points. You might be able to fool Christians though, considering how many of them I’ve seen post support to your idiocy.

  22. Hi, Grace.

    These are just my two cents.

    Firstly, most of us know that you’re a wonderful and amazing blogger, that’s why we’re spending our time reading through whatever you have written. But there’s one thing about you that radiates insecurity – you’re always self-promoting over the same thing over and over again. In fact, that kinda gives away that you want people to know about your achievements, and overdoing so turns that into excessive pride, or simply, just a mask to cover your lack of confidence. Trust me, if you’re awesome and one of the kind, people WILL eventually find that out. And it’s ten times more impressive if it doesn’t come out from you, but from others who find you amazing!

    It’s true that XX might be a little bit harsh on her words, and so are her followers (because they admire her guts in the first place) but at least she’s comfortable to be herself. And trust me, readers like myself can sense that comfortability. Bonus to anyone who has a personality that stands out and doesn’t care about what most of the society think! On a side note, XX is really smart and she did her research well before posting on her blog. She had gone through almost all of your social media and history just to get her points through. So, if you’re still planning to campaign for the anti-cyber bully propaganda, please do your research well and do it before everyone has forgotten about the issue.

    Lastly, a mother, being distracted by something else on her son’s birthday and decided to come out with some time of the day to tackle the issue, wasn’t necessary neglecting her responsibility as a good mother. I, for one, would want to settle my troubles/chores beforehand so that I can fully enjoy a great time with my loved ones, without having those on my mind throughout the day. Of course, this is provided that I have the confidence to finish the task in time for whatever that comes afterwards. Well, different people have different ways of doing things. What I see is that you were offering a favour out of kindness to XX by announcing for a day free of flames, but it wasn’t necessary the best deal for her in her perspectives. So please refrain from judging the others based on your personal belief and expectations.

    We know that you’ve achieved so much, but to win hearts of more than you have already, you’ll have to work way harder! And I look forward to this part of the achievement from you. All the best.



  23. A question. Why must you keep stressing you were the speaker after “TUN DR MAHATHIR”?? Is that the best accomplishment of your life speaking after HIM?? I dont think anybody really cares lmfaooo but clap hands for you ok.

  24. If you don’t want to be a blogger or not care at all, why are you still commenting bad about her? And asking her to take down the blogpost? How about you? After reading your blog, I can therefore say you have NO remorse at all. You keep insisting that you’re the one who’s bullied, when the truth, it’s you who are bullying. You say you want peace etc. then in another essay you say shit about her. What a joke article. You could have just say sorry.

  25. Dear Grace,
    I’m not taking anyone’s side here, but you do have quite a habit of name dropping. We get it – you went on stage right after Tun M. I guess you’re very ‘in-your-face’ about your achievements, which really does come across as gloating. Maybe if you were a little more subtle with your showing off, it would make your blog more pleasant to read 🙂 humility AND grace are both good traits to have.

  26. Only thing I’d like to know is, is it true you wrote the Prime Minister 1 day after LKY’s death to complain? If it is, seems rather over-dramatic and narcissistic.

  27. “Grace Tan
    on May 13, 2015 at 2:37 pm said:
    I am as eager as you are to have justice served. So hang on, and be patient.”

    Speaking as the average joe:

    Let me make it quite clear that JUSTICE is not being served on either side of this very immature spat. We have a face off between potty mouth Wendy and attention whore Grace (What an oxymoron ie. very little GRACE in Grace’s behaviour).

    I am eager for the day the honourable judge dismisses this ridiculous side show and packs these two off to obedience school to learn the finer elements of behaving GRACEFULLY.

    Now from a professional perspective:

    I am very eager for more legal drama to unfold. This piece of legislation was poorly crafted and the unintended consequence was this kind of immature spat that was usually settled in a playground stand off. It is now left to the Courts to frame the boundaries of what constitutes harassment and to develop the case law that will hopefully deter future attention whores from wasting precious public resources.

    A final point on keeping promises:

    Grace (or the lack of), it is good manners to deliver what you promised. We have been waiting with bated breath for your earth shattering revelation of new evidence to support your rather defamatory allegations. So Grace, be a little Graceful and let us wait no more.

    PS. I hear you’re headed back to court. Any lawyer with any shred of conscience (an increasingly rare species) would have advised you to drop the matter and stop wasting time and resources. Even if you must satisfy yourself by kicking Wendy in the face, mediation is really the best route to take. You had your 20 seconds in the spotlight, now it’s time to behave like a grown up (I know it’s hard for you!) and stop wasting public resources.

    • “P Prospero
      on May 17, 2015 at 6:18 pm said:
      We have been waiting with bated breath for your earth shattering revelation of new evidence”

      I fully intend to make you wait. I hope you took a good long breath before deciding to hold it. 😉 If you run out of patience, or breath, it’s kind of your own bad luck, dude.

  28. “I fully intend to make you wait. I hope you took a good long breath before deciding to hold it. 😉 If you run out of patience, or breath, it’s kind of your own bad luck, dude.”

    Thank you for making it clear to everyone that you have no real evidence to substantiate your numerous defamatory allegations. Your behaviour is typical of that spoilt child who tips over the chess board and refuses to play because the game isn’t going her way!

    Time to grow up Grace (what an oxymoron LOL)

    Hope you actually SHOW up in Court this time.

    • Thank you for making it clear to everyone that you don’t understand simple English. 🙂 Your behavior is typical of a troll. If you would use your REAL NAME and leave your contact details here, I will DEFINITELY see you in Court. 🙂

  29. “Grace Tan
    on May 11, 2015 at 6:25 pm said:
    I wrote to the Minister of Law, and cc-ed everyone else. And guess what… only MinLaw responded”

    What did you expect?
    Did you really need to CC the whole govt leadership?
    Was the PM supposed to drop everything because poor little Grace had a petty complaint?
    MinLaw is the lead ministry in this case and will be arrowed your complaint for a reply.
    Do spare a thought for those poor civil servants who actually have to jump thru hoops to get a proper reply out to you. It’s bad enough that you’re wasting judicial resources with your attention seeking nonsense.

    • LOL. You TOTALLY ignored my reply asking you to leave your REAL NAME and contact details here so I can see you in Court as requested. Now you comment about something else altogether. Come on, dude. Grow some balls, or get outta here!

  30. “Grace Tan
    on May 17, 2015 at 7:03 pm said:
    Thank you for making it clear to everyone that you don’t understand simple English. 🙂 Your behavior is typical of a troll. If you would use your REAL NAME and leave your contact details here, I will DEFINITELY see you in Court. :)”

    I challenged you to keep your promise to reveal the evidence that substantiates your defamatory allegations. You respond by threatening me with legal action! Just like how you subjected Wendy to harassment through the Courts, just because she was “mean” to you.

    It is clear now that YOU are the BULLY!

    • Oh, THAT’S defamatory too. Because I’m not a bully. And yes, I do challenge you to leave me your contact details. I have a contact form on this page. Go ahead.

      And really… you do NOT understand simple English. I already asked for patience. That means you’ll get what you want as long as you are patient. Did I say “sorry, I’m not keeping my promise”? Or did I say “sorry, I lied?” NO! P-A-T-I-E-N-C-E. 🙂

  31. Have you read some of your comment responses to other people? I am not sure if you have noticed, but you sound pretty much like a bully too.

    Go ahead, disable comments here too. Won’t stop people from thinking negatively of you.

    • When you comment anonymously, do you care that people think you are a coward and a loser?

      So there. I’ve given you my answer too. 🙂

      ~Your Bully

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